So you want to start your own brand…

Well I will say yes, why not, because I had one, at least I did once, a very long time ago, post punk and yet before the summer of love, when glow stick in hand and with a whistle around their neck, everyone needed a lunatic shirt to lose, in some happy and now half forgotten field. And I made them, stupid things they were with whopping stabber collars, billowing sleeves and 12 inch cuffs, out of Saree fabrics and African head dress material…I looked like Willy Wonker, give or take a letter. I blame the marvellous Wayne Hemingway, founder of Red or Dead and purveyor of the flamenco sleeved lunacy that I loved. And I had some success, my moment in the sun; but I’ll still say yes with caution, and here’s where I morally absolve myself and end up sounding like your Dad…if you want an easier business, start a chocolate teapot factory, market a plastic pan for salads, invent a revolving soup fork, because it doesn’t get much harder than starting a fashion brand.

I get between ten and twenty enquiries a day, from footballers, actors, bus drivers and teachers, hookers, shepherds and bee keepers, saying ‘I don’t suppose anyone has said this to you before, but I’m thinking of starting my own clothing brand’…and I’ve been doing that for over twenty years. To view the success rate would require an electron microscope, and by success I don’t mean getting your T-shirt onto the winner from ‘I’m A Celebrity Tosspot’ – I  mean getting to the point where you’re so desirable, that someone would give you proper loot to buy your brand.

So what are the two main reasons for failure, and how do I avoid them?

I’ll tell you next time….I bloody hate it when people do that….

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